Two men are digging holes. They both want to plant a tree to beautify their neighborhood and free their family.
One of the men looks at the other man’s hole when they take a break to grab some water and says, “Wow, that’s much smaller than mine. You must be slacking, dude”.
The other man says, “No, your shovel is better. I just grabbed the one I had and it wasn’t very good”.
The first man says, “Oh. That’s fair. Let’s try to get you a better shovel then”.
Neither man feels that their effort has been insulted. Neither man thinks that their family has been insulted. The first man doesn’t call the second man a lazy parasite. They both tried as hard, they just had a difference in terms of what advantages they had to work with, so of course one man did better.
This is, of course, how neighbors who love each other behave.