The Black Hole

My friend’s experience with depression.

I have never experienced this kind of emptiness. I’ve only experienced the trials and the joys of pulling people out of it. But what I do know is that, no matter if you are the helper or the helped (or both), once you have seen worlds like this, you never are the same. If you ever wonder why so many psychologists and sociologists seem to speak so quietly and to take pain so seriously, it is the simple fact that they have been exposed to it so many times.

The Streets of Gotham

No, this one is not about Disney’s ’79 somewhat silly and ultimately boring, but still somehow charming SciFi piece.

This one is about the blackest hole I’ve encountered so far. The black hole of depression. I’ll admit I have been depressed before. I have felt hopeless and abandoned, feared for my life, felt humiliation and degradation, exprienced utter despair, horror, grief … pretty much everything than can bring a person down.

But as I recently discovered I obviously have never experienced depression before, not like this. Not the real thing. Whenever I thought about depression or felt “depressed” I still felt something. But I encountered something new. What I came to call “the drained world”. The world seems drained of everything. Sounds, smells, colours, taste, touch … all senses seem to be dialed down to almost zero. As are the feelings. Every waking moment feels like eating wet dirt.


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